One of the many things that I have learnt as an expat is
that friendships are priceless. You don't know how much they are worth until
you lose a few and realise how hard it is to form new lasting friendships.
Friendships are personal and thus more difficult to build. Most people cannot even remember when they last made a new close friend which they would want to keep
forever. As expats we need to start this process all over again.
A strange thing that I have also noticed is that often
people don't easily reach out to you, because they fear rejection or they don't even
like themselves and these stop them from making new friends. I have found so
many lonely people. Wonderful people, who just don't believe that they can be a
good friend or that they have anything to offer and thus they don't try. Their
walls are so high that no one is granted access.
I find it so extremely heart wrenching that lies from
their pasts keep them from enjoying the wonderful benefits of friendship.
Friendships are not about what you have to offer or about
what you have in common. It is about commitment, about supporting each other
through whatever might pop up, unconditionally and selflessly. Often it's
nothing more than properly listening and responding in love. Listening is
probably the most neglected aspect in friendships today. As friendships grow
they reach different stages of trust and yes during each stage you have to choose
to share more and make yourself more vulnerable. There is always a risk involved,
the risk that you might be hurt or disappointed, but where there is no risk,
there is no reward. We need to learn to risk whatever it is we fear, to reap
the rewards of friendship.
Picture credit: grace2f.org
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